Love, sex and intimate relationships

18 february 2006

Hi Gregg, Hello All

//carine zaayman, artist and working at michaelis school of fine art

indeed, i think you have a good point about why we are hesitant. i had a restless night, and spent some time thinking about what one could offer a discussion such as this. and the problem is that most of what came to my mind,
sounded somewhat dramatic, over romantic or twee. with that qualification in place, i offer the following:

love is a curse. it does not leave you, but it does not care for you. not a sustaining emotion, it is violent. i cannot rid myself of the fantasy, but of course, the fantasy wants nothing of me.

increasing isolation is, of course, the ironic result of urban living. and for love, this makes matters worse. for me, maybe as a tentative beginning in the discussion, the process of art making greatly helps my reflection on this unhappy
state of affairs. it affords me an opportunity to realise thoughts and expressions i would otherwise only struggle with in demonised apparitions in solitary moments.

but really, it is bleak. or is it? where does the fantasy come from? is it inherent - something one is born with and doomed to? i don't think it is, entirely. i also think it is a mass fantasy, fired into life and shaped by the stories and images with which we surround ourselves. books, sure, TV of course, film, yes. but they all seem to be underwritten by a greater mass hunger/need. and while there stories and images clearly identify our desire/the enemy, it does in no way equip us to defeat him or her.

nonetheless, many are happy in their unions, and celebrate what from my perspective seems a minor but important victory over love. (please remeber my qualification earlier.) i think your idea with this group is also to discuss notions of unorthodox families, and the ability to create other kinds of support structures - which i have not really touched on here.

C

fye